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Spic jokes

How do you get a Mexican woman pregnant?
Chizz in her shoes, and let the flies do the rest!

How many Mexicans does it take to grease an axle?
One if you hit 'em just right.

How many Mexicans does it take to grease a combine?
It all depends upon how fast you run them through.

Why is a Spic like a Skunk?
Because they're half black and half white, and smell like shit.

Why doesn't the state of Texas electrocute Mexican prisoners anymore?
Grease fires are too hard to put out.

Why do niggers put their garbage out in clear plastic bags?
So Mexicans can window shop.

What's the difference between a cue ball and an illegal immigrant?
The harder you hit them, the more English you get out of them.

Why don't niggers marry Mexicans?
Their kids would be too lazy to steal!

Why doesn't Mexico ever host the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America already.

What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed

There is a Mexican, a nigger and an Asian in a car, who is driving?
The Cop!

Why doesn't Mexico have a NAVY?
Because cardboard doesn't float.

Why is it wrong to push a car off a cliff with three Mexicans in it? Because you can fit five.

What's a Mexican fortune cookie?
A taco shell with food stamps in it.

Why don't whites throw rocks at Mexican driven cars?
Because it might be theirs.

How many Mexicans can you fit in a Pinto?
20
How do you get them in?
Throw in a five dollar bill.
How do you get them out?
Throw in a job application


What do you call 5000 Mexican's in a pool?
Bean dip

Why do Mexicans have mustaches?
They want to be like their moms!

Where do you hide cash from a Mexican?
Under the soap!

Why do Mexicans drive low riders?
So they can pick lettuce while they cruise

How do you know how many Mexicans are in a Safeway?
Count the Pintos and multiply by 20.

Why were there only 3000 Mexicans at the Alamo?
They only had 4 cars.

What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house?
Adopted.

Who's the richest person in Mexico?
The one that gets it.....

How do you take a census in Mexico?
Throw in a bar of soap and count the number of people running away.

How do you count the population of Mexico?
Roll a quarter down the street and count the people running after it.

What did the Mexican kid down the block get for his birthday? The bike you threw out 3 weeks ago.

Know why Mexican women wear long dresses?
To hide the bug strips. [Picture]

Why did the Mexicans fight so hard to take the Alamo?
So they could have four clean walls to write on.

Why do Mexican girls wear panties?
To keep their ankles warm.

What's the most confusing day for a Mexican?
Father's Day!

How do you tell a Mexican girl from a Jewish girl?
A Mexican girl's jewelry is fake, but her orgasms are real.

What do you call a pregnant Mexican?
Bean Bag.

How many spics does it take to have a bath?
Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.

Why don't Mexicans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.

If you are a waiter or waitress at a resturant, and you got a spic nigger cross breed, what do you ask it? Would you like some "hot sauce" with your fried chicken?

Why do Mexicans have re-fried beans?
Have you ever heard of a Mexican doing anything right the first time?

How can you tell a Mexican airline?
It's the one with hair under the wings.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
I don't know but it sure can pick lettuce.

Why can't spics be firefighters?
They can't tell Jose from hose B.


METAL ALIVE, IN 2005!